So you know you don't have to just walk on your balance beam right? Switch it up sometimes! Do a cartwheel, do a flip...
Do Something Crazy!
You don't have to do anything Olympic style (and if you can...well...that's fricken amazing...you must be fricken amazing.) But trust me, doing something out of your comfort zone makes balancing much more enjoyable! Don't let that skinny beam limit what you can do! Why am I bringing this up? Because I just had a pretty cray-cray weekend...and it felt pretty fricken great! Where do I begin?
I didn't plan my stunt nor my night but the crazy still happened. It just did. And sometimes, that's how the balance goes...you just do it. You naturally have to move when you balance. And in my case...
it included doing the worm.
The night was normal...I had had a great day of camp and was beginning to unwind. I felt a little tired and was ready to just slip into my usual routine of relaxing, maybe let myself eat some icecream, and watch The Bachelorette.
That plan was paused when I learned of a family dinner party that night. It was in honor of my uncle's brother getting married the next day. Part of me was like, "Yay!" Good food, a few laughs, silly kids, and good ole fashioned time with the fam. Yet another part of me slightly panicked. I didn't know this side of my family very well and I could already feel the awkwardness. I braced myself. I would actually have to try to talk to people. I would have to try to make conversation with people. I would actually have to use my brain and put forth effort to make words come out and move my lips. I would actually have to try to interact with other human beings.
I would actually have to socialize.
Now, I'm all for getting to know people and making friends...I love people! But I mean...I think we have all been there...those awkward situations where you don't know anyone and the people around you are either double or half your age.
Why would I actually have to interact with them? Why the heck would I put myself through something like this?
Partly because I had recently dropped my phone in the toilet.
Good-bye crutch. Good-bye life as I would know it. Earth to Victoria. Look around you. Look up from the fricken screen and see what you are missing out on. This was actually what might have drove me to my crazyness...getting myself out of my own little world and being able to open my eyes to other ways to balance...to allow myself to do something "out there."
So I went to the dinner party, enjoyed amazing food and the pleasant company of my new family. & afterall... I couldn't complain! The dinner was at Ludvig's Restaurant, which if you have never heard of, is one of the best seafood restaurants in the world! Not exaggerating! Ludvig's has built itself a pretty high name and the title of serving world famous Clam Chowder! Like, fricken yumm. (Ok, sorry for the language...but I'm just goin with the flow here.;)
Now I was in the partying mood. & I had had the camp dance on my mind all night. What would happen if I actually went out and socialized with people my age? Maybe it was my curiosity...maybe it was that I love to dance...maybe it was that I was liking this whole interact with other humans thing. Like, besides outside of school and camp. In a natural setting. In a fun setting. So I bid my farewells and stopped shoving my face with the restaurant's heavenly bread, and put on some dancing shoes. (Which were actually my clunky Chacos but you get the point.)
I walked into the dance hall, looking for any familiar faces and then deciding not to care who I would hang with that night.
Then I just let loose.
I waved my hands above my head, swayed my hips, sang along to Journey, said hi to everyone I possibly knew, and giggled the night away. Then the dance circle happened. Everyone at the dance formed a perfect circle in the middle of the dance floor. A circle of wonder, of intriguement, and a circle of maybe even a little fear. One brave soul stepped out and began to breakdance. Chants from the crowd lightened the tense feeling of who would continue the show. He led on until his contagious energy sprang forth more dancers.
Dancers, who just seconds before, had been just normal people paralyzed with fear.
Just as quickly as the scene had began with an act of courage into the circle, it was left empty once more. The mood began to dip into dullness again. Until I realized. Until I realized that a small spark of that energy...that pure energy of excitement was begining to start a fire in me.
Just as fast as flames consume dry leaves, so this excitement did to any of my nerves & any of my sanity.
And thats when the crazy happened. When I did the worm across the circle and the cheers rang out.
Adrenaline feels oh so good.
But it doesn't end there. When the circle finally dispersed and the room was filled with shawdows of dancing bodies every where, one shawdow came bounding towards mine. It's legs fast and swift in the colorful moving stage lights. I watched the shawdow get closer until it's arms reached out and grabbed mine. I looked up to stare in the face of one of my friends. I was pleasantly surprised that he could dance and my confused face turned into a smile as he twirled me and I flew all over the floor.
But then another shawdow approached.
Friendly and smooth as well, he retook my hands. Could these shawdows be having a dance off for me? I, surprised once more giggled again. The shawdow stared into my eyes and my giggles died off.
& it's eyes continued to grow closer to mine.
This shawdow who I recognized from the dance circle and who had been so smooth and controlled now was awkwardly steping on my toes. His friend pointed out his mistakes and his eyes were more nervous around me than they had been in the dance circle. I could feel his breath.
"Wow! It sure is hot in here! I think I'm gonna go get some water. I'll see you later." And just like that our shawdows parted and mine left the room. But I could feel the shawdow's gaze linger on.
And I did come back. And I danced until the music and bodies stopped. And the dances carried into my dreams and into the morning of the next day where a new kind of crazyness awaited me.
~~~
"Victoria! Victoria!" I heard two little girls squeal. (It feels nice to be loved.) I was embraced by who would be the flower girls. The day was perfect for an outdoor wedding. The sun was bright and the tide was calm. I was in charge of doing the girl's hair and makeup. But really, just like the flowers they would be tossing (actually more like chucking) down the aisle, they didn't even need any extra beauty treatments. I found that hanging out with these two blossoms would be quite crazy as well.
& the craziness began right after the bride & groom said I do.
"Victoria, lets climb this tree! Victoria look at all these crabs I caught! Victoria, come play on the rocks with me! Victoria, come down to the beach! Victoria, I want a cupcake! Victoria, he got a cupcake already! Victoria, I want another cupcake. (Speaking of cupcakes and craziness...I had three!) Victoria, catch me! Victoria, look at this spit bug! And this catapillar! Victoria, show me how to skip stones! Victoria, look! My thumb has a hat! Now all my fingers have hats! Victoria... are you married? Victoria, come into the water!"
The water. The kids were in the water. Not just any water, Alaska's water. Cold water. Freezing water. One girl fell in and amazed me at her reaction of laughter. She loved this craziness! & These kids were crazier than even I! But I, feeling inspired by such crazy feats, followed. The flower girl jumped right in, at first holding her dress up so only her tights were wet. But then following that pattern of letting loose before doing something even crazier.
She let her dress down & danced.
The sunset was behind her and she asked to move towards it. She wanted to go deeper in the water. Do something even crazier! A kayac lay far in the distance. And she asked to go at least far enough out to reach the person in it. I squinted at it. But I was focused on a colorful flower dancing in the ocean. Her big eyes looked up and they outdid even this Alaskan view of the ocean, and the sunset, and the mountains. The tip of my skirt toached the salty water as I danced with her even though all my lifeguarding instincts told me not to let her go farther. But we were crazy, and it was fun. It was good. And it was beautiful.
Being crazy was beautiful.
And I wanted to live in the moment for a longer time. The view, the dancing flowers, the music and happy people. (The happy and drunk people. They are some of the most merry and funny people I have ever met. And perhaps I will explain the crazy conversation I have had with some of them another time.) The spark of love as the groom gazed at his new wife. A bridesmaid motioned for me and the kids to return. Return to light sparklers and wish the couple off! The sparks reminded me of the night before, of the spark of energy I had held before gaining the courage to be crazy. We balanced are way barefoot and crazy back up to the party. Careful not to slip on the rocks or be tossed by the ocean.
So at the end of the weekend, I had tried new food, danced my little booty off, witnessed the beggining of beautiful love story, and had even had a small dip in the cold Alaskan waters. I even survived the whole weekend without my phone! As much as I would have loved to sit back and watch my chick flick, I'm glad I went with a dash of spontanueaty instead.
& most of all, I found my crazy.
& I discovered it's good to have some crazy in you.
