Where were we? Oh yes. The dirt. I was sitting like an idiot in the forest right?
“Victoria?” I heard my name echoed from the distance. Oh yeah. I’m supposed to be picking berries. Do you remember the Berry Heaven I dreamed about in my Hunger Games post? Well…let’s just say this was it. Blueberries. &. Huckleberries! So many to pick, that I eventually gave up.
I hopped up from the dirt to which I would eventually return. (And no I did not mean that as a bible reference…) Following the voices & laughter, I found myself climbing up a hill hidden and swallowed up with blueberry bushes. I was right about to dunk under a branch when I was surprised, delighted, & disturbed all at the same time. A small bird stared wide-eyed at Chloe & I. It was right in front of my face…even as my aunt and uncle’s big Rottweiler-Husky, Ranger came pounding towards it. It didn’t fly off…didn’t even flinch. “Is this a real bird?” I heard myself say aloud.
But the bird turned as I spoke those words, revealing its featherless tail. Actually there was no tail at all. My heart melted. My Snow-white instincts kicked in. I wanted to help it. So badly I wanted to hold it...to give it its chance at life that it may never get.
But how could I?
I guess this forest wasn’t as giving as I thought it to be.
I stared at it for some time trying to figure out if there was any hope. Ranger sat right under the branch as if he understood. Understood that this helpless little chick had to be protected. That he was routing for it to survive too. Chloe poked her head from my backpack to peek at it also. & all three of us continued staring at it. & it stared back. In all quietness.
The absence of sound was loud enough though. Loud enough to speak to all of us.
Because in the midst of all our peaceful & solemn silence, I realized. This little bird may like his spot on this branch. He may like sitting in the forest just as I do. He may like getting a break from the tree tops. Maybe he finds Hakuna Matata by the world on the ground too. Even though he may never fly again, he might be perfectly happy and free and in love. In love at what he can discover that the other birds don’t. Well, I don’t know how birds think. But I like to think that that’s how they do.
Satisfied with this thought & hopeful, I and the dogs trotted off to find the others and join them in their immaculate berry hunting excursion. They already had half a gallon of blueberries in their bags by the time I finally found them tangled in the bushes. & let’s just say I enjoyed more than I saved. I gave some to Ranger and Chloe too to make me feel less guilty. Nika, my aunt and uncle’s pure Husky stole a few too. It made me feel better that we were all enjoying ourselves with this indulgence.
When I thought I had contributed enough berries in my bag,
I began to let myself be lost in the forest again...
I began carefully moving down and around the hill and the further I went, the more the bushes and branches and plants all encased me. The forest as a whole was engrossing me. My hair was getting caught, my feet were slipping, and my hands when catching myself on the ground were damp and also sliding. I was so confused how the others had escaped so easily out of this entanglement. But I wasn’t the only one having a hard time. Ranger got himself stuck in something. And with hearing this I finally surrendered, plopping down on the side of the hill.
Oh look. I’m sitting in the dirt again.
At least Chloe didn’t seem to mind. I tried to get up. But I wouldn’t budge. It was as if some unknown force of the forest was enticing me to stay. Look. Feel. Taste. Smell. Hear. Explore. It was as if it were enchanting me with some kind of spell. I relaxed, slumping and sinking deeper into the dirt, as becoming part of the forest itself. I was hidden from everyone in the world. I didn’t hear any voices or footsteps. I was alone except for Chloe and the birds I heard in the distance. Mostly, it was just me & the forest.
Look. I heard it say.
I opened my eyes hard. & with a notebook in hand I began to see.
Pops of green so bright, they light up my eyes. They come from big, four petaled clovers and spike out from tiny, feathered ferns. They contrast the dark, brown, and dead leaves from the jungle of bushes and trees that canopy over them. Fallen blueberries dot the scene. And my mouth is reminded of their taste. Nothing is dull. Nothing. My aunt’s words resurface my mind, “Even though this tree is dead, it supports so much life!” Yes! Even the dead tree bark is moist and covered with life!
It looks like lettuce is growing around it. And it seems as if it is sprinkled with big cloves of pepper. Maybe it’s a fungus? Or spores?
The branches are decorated with Oosnea or other webbed vines. There are so many branches they seem all tangled yet whole as one being. If you look closely there’s a banana slug peacefully hugging one of these branches. They are delicate as they are only as wide as my thumb but strong enough to hold all the life they support.
There are so many greens! Dark greens climb upwards…they look rough and wrinkled but they are so soft. And even more delicate than the branches. There are light green lettuce looking leaves with white undersides. & every once in a while, there are little bursts of yellow from aged leaves.
Listen, the forest w h i s p e r s .
My ears received the sound more clearly than they ever have before.
I cannot see the rain but I can hear it. The giant leaves higher than the ripe blueberries protect me. They are Devil’s Club leaves. Leading up to their leaves which look like large ears are the spiny and pokey clubs that define them. Their Light brown spikes would definitely punish me if I were to get pricked by one. A bird whizzes two inches from my left ear.
I yell because it comes so fast! I can feel its wind touch the side of my cheek. I can also hear other birds. Talking to each other in their beautiful language of song. Some birds sing prettier ones than others. Eagles are screeching back and forth. Another annoying sound comes from the occasional bugs that fly by. But my ears are resoothed by the ocean waves. Way down this hill I am hiding in…lays the magnificent Alaskan waters which I can barely see. The waves are calm from what I can tell. I hear even more birds cooing down by them. So many different birds! Birds I’ve never heard until I stopped to listen! I hear small animals rushing in the leaves above. What do I hear getting closer? Close enough to crawl up… I think I need to itch my ankle. Ugh.
Thus the forest nudges me to f e e l .
Feel? My toes are g r i t t y and d a m p . My legs are also soaked from this dew filled Earth. My fingers begin itching this time to feel around me. Damp dirt. Cool leaves. My thumb rubs along the veins of one. It’s prickly but not enough to hurt. It would be good for scrubbing? The ferns lowest to the ground are smooth. Smoother and thinner and lighter than paper. They grow lusher at the top. Lightly plumose yet so fuzzy that they would make a good blanket! I feel myself wanting to fall asleep in them but I am r e a w a k e n e d by my t h o u g h t s .
They are so intricate! As tiny as they are. One main vein. Smaller veins branch out from both sides everywhere. Smaller veins from them. & even smaller ones from them! I drop it suddenly. The bugs are beginning to bite. My forehead. Ears. Neck. But it’s worth making these discoveries. I pick up the dead bark from earlier. It’s so soft from the moisture that it becomes stringy and falls apart. Its rough outside crumbles effortlessly.
The lettuce looking leaves I focus on again feel softer than actual lettuce. A little crisper too. Another leaf with rounder edges is also bristly. I press my hand firmly against the earth not reaching for anything specific. It bounces back up effortlessly. It’s so soft. So lush. So comfy. Everything is wet but it feels so good. So natural. I lie down in it. It would be a great opportunity for a nap. Chloe is already taking one. But I am again, easily distracted. The branches are so beautiful from this angle.
The white light from the sky reveals all their intricate threads &spots. More Oosnea hangs from their tops. So much life. A leaf gracefully floats down to meet its new life with the other fallen leaves that are now consumed by the bright green sprouts of growth. I close my eyes. Breathe in.
As I inhale in the forest pushes smells towards me. & intense flavors fill my tongue with spritz of taste.
All that comes to mind when I breathe is f r e s h .
Something sweet tickles my nose. Maybe it’s the berries overhead.
Yes. It’s fresh.
Earthy. Sweet. Clean. & Clear.
No impurities. Nothing potent.
P e r f e c t.
“Victoria!” My uncle calls out from the distance. I guess I have been sitting here for a while. I sit up. & critters bounce off.
“Yes!”
“How are you?”
“Good!”
“Just checking on you!”
“K!” I yell.
But I wasn’t just good… I’ve never been better. Never been so connected. So relaxed. So delighted.
Then I have been sitting on this side of this lush and life-filled little island.
With nothing around me but life.
My fingers are pruny now. My hair is filled with leaves and sticks and that dirt and I even see a small spider emerging from it. Haha. I hope this place likes me just as much as I like it.
Maybe more things would make me this happy if I just stopped to look. Stopped to listen. To feel. To take in. To breathe. To smell. To appreciate. To explore.
Every part of me is awakened. Surging with life.
